It seems to me that the names always come after the establishment of a group or behavior that needs naming, though sometimes the actual naming comes from both outside and inside the group at the same time. You can think of the difference between terms like fag, puff, fairy, and dyke–all terms employed first by straight society to name queer groups–and terms like twink, Mary, friend of Dorothy (or Friend of Dorian, if you’re from the turn of the century), or stone (butch).

A few months back, someone wrote in to Dan Savage trying to coin a new sex term for some particular practice he and his partner were into. Mitten humping or something, I don’t remember. His Royal Savage said how names only catch on when there is a need for them. Think of pegging, he said, a name invented by the Stranger for when women fuck men with strap-ons. It is now a common sex term, not because people heard the name and thought it sounded fun, but because it was a behavior that already existed and just needed naming.