Conversation credit goes to John, who actually said most of this.

Hey, videos! Via Queerty:

Twinklight trailor: twink vampire porn. (This is what happens when porn has too much of a budget.)

British straight boy confused about glory holes. (This is WAY hotter than the video above)

When a lezzie friend told me that her and her date watched a movie, my reaction was, of course, that of most gay men I know. Surely, it’s universally known that “watching a movie” means “let’s put in this movie that neither of us are really interested/one of us has already seen as an excuse to cuddle on the couch/bed until hands start to wander.” I thought our female lovin’ friends worked the same way, but I was mistaken. When I ask another gay man if he’s seen a film, and his answer is “Yeah, I saw part of it” I don’t exactly think that’s because he fell asleep in the theater…

One of these days, I’ll actually see the ending to “Mists of Avalon.”

Going around licking foreign surfaces just isn’t a good idea, especially when that surface could have had a baby go through it. All I’m sayin’.

Sometimes I envy our vagina-clad sisters. Sure, we may have gotten the style, mad dance skills, and the more attractive genitalia (ahem), but they may have lucked out when it comes to getting it on. Can you imagine if men could have multiples? Man, nothing would EVER get done. And we’d all be ripped, since sex is one hell of a workout.

Sorry I had to skip yesterday…the series will be till Saturday now.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. The weather around here was lovely. The people were plentiful. The smell of elephant ears, sweat, and leather filled the air. While I’m not the biggest fan of pride, it’s always fun to see so many people get together and just have fun, dance naked in the fountain, watch drag, get drunk, and show off. It’s certainly not the most political statement we could muster, but I’ll be damned if it isn’t fun to watch, and mostly harmless, so why not?

I was passing out comics during most of it. If anyone actually came to check out the site after reading one, a big THANKS to you all! Next year I’m doing stickers. People fucking LOVE stickers, I found out. ALSO, anyone who read the comic I passed out, a quick note: as you can see by the original print, that comic specifically was co-written by Christopher Darling. I made the mistake of leaving his name off the flyer, and felt HORRIBLE about it. Just saying.

Alright, there we go.

Ok, so upon inspecting the “Dine Out for Life” poster this year, I noticed one very interesting detail: “Help by getting Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Cocktails.” Cocktails. You like helping people, right? No? Well then you like drinking at least, yeah? Well let’s do both at once. Let’s get crunk. For lives.

You can’t walk three feet without stumbling on a restaurant on the hill (or anywhere else in Seattle) that’s participating in this amazing event. So, get all of your alcoholic or fat friends out, get an appetizer AND dessert, and around 6 or 7 drinks per person sounds about right. Again, the site to find restaurants/bars that are participating can be found here.

Hope to see you out tonight. I’ll buy you some “character” if you see me.

I actually can’t take credit for the actual double entendre that I use for the first panel. That goes to Donald Vining, who said this in his essay about being a gay man in the 1940s:

“I adore seafood.Gorge myself whenever the fleet’s in. But I can’t abide fish,” [a gay man] might say, and any gay man would instantly know that the speaker was turned on by sailors and turned off by women, while the puzzled Mr. and Mrs. Readers Digest, listening in, would assume this was a discussion about food preferences.

This use of slang and double meaning hasn’t stopped since then, even though one doesn’t have to be quite as secretive as they used to be. I often take for granted that certain terms and phrases are used within the gay community that have no equivalent in the straight one. How many times have you tried to explain bear and twink to your straight friends? There’s an entire part of an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia episode that illustrates this perfectly.

But which comes first, the chicken or the egg — or perhaps, in this case, the bear or the cub? Did these “titles” come from the fact that there were already large amounts of these types of gays and therefore we needed to attach a classification to them? Or now has it become so ingrained that new gays attach themselves to one of many sub-categories, like some sort of homosexual career. If a gay man decided that he’s into big, burly, hairy men, but not that much into leather, and actually enjoys wearing surfer style clothes and tanning, is he still a bear? Or a twink?

Oh no, that’s right, he’s a jock.

Not all men decided to adhere to some form of stereotypical gay, which keeps things interesting. In fact, I’d say these labels and corresponding attributes are simply an advanced form of the mating call; they only seem to come out in any sort of force at some location were one might want to be noticed — gay bar, club, coffee shop, dungeon, church… I don’t expect that an Abercrombie boy walks around in his house with his hair gelled. But I could be wrong.

So let us dive into the plethora of threesomes that one can encounter, in no particular order:

-One devoted couple, with someone new to “spice things up”: This category could probably have some sub-categories as well, including “3rd wheel” or “center of attention”. The former happens when two people are really getting into it, and the other gets a little (or a lotta) left out. For example, one person in the couple invited a third to join, and the other half-heartedly agreed, and then half-asses it doing the threesome, or he gets totally ignored. (I’m using all male pronouns, but most of this can extend to straight couple, I imagine [I always forget to put myself in a straight persons perspective before I say stuff like that. See note below].) Or the devoted couple gets really into it, since this is old hat for them, and the invitee feels a little out of the loop. The “center of attention” category is one person is picked, intentionally or not, and the other two focus on him. Usually successful, especially if everyone is totally game. Takes the most amount of communication, especially between some couples, to make sure it does more good than harm.

-Three good friends: This is when no one is actually dating anyone, but you know each other really well, maybe even slept together in one combination or another. Again, there’s always the possibility of a “third wheel” but if we’re all friends here, its should be pretty balanced. Probably initiated by “This is so-and-so, and he’s good in the sack” “Oh yeah?” “Yes, my threesome skills, let me show you them” or something.

-Three strangers: Sober or not, three new friends decide to take it from the bar/alley/school library to the bedroom/alley/lockerroom. Everything is totally improvised, but the thrills of discovery and spontaneity are there. Or so I’ve heard…

[Note: So most of this probably DOESN'T apply to straight couples, since there's that whole different gender thing involved. With gays, there's no combos like "MMF" or "MFF" to worry about, which is a whole other ballgame to think about. Like MMF: Is it two straight males doing one chick, or everyone doing everyone? Too complicated for me...sorry straighties.]

Just some of the topics that Leah and I covered and now passing them on to you. Anyone have some good insight? Advice?

Sorry about the mini-break there, shit has a tendency to throw itself at the fan sometimes. Happy New Year kids! I’s excited.

This was among one of my favorite stories that Leah decided to tell me. I say decided because I feel Burning Man is the sort of event where you choose carefully what you share. Like Vegas, some of what happens there, stays there, no one the wiser. Not even you, if it’s really good.

I’m assuming all this, of course, since I’ve never been to Burning Man (or burned any men, for that matter). I have a handul of friends who are BM devotees, and its certainly on my list of things to do, about halfway down, between Ewan McGregor and learning Quechua.

The concept of a fair where, besides the cost of getting there and getting in, everything is free is surreal enough. Everything. Food, gifts, drugs, booze. Allow me to back this thing up. Free. Booze. Disneyland doesn’t even have that, making me question its self-proclaimed “happiest place on Earth” status. You have to bring something to the fair, but I want to know who these people are who bring such things that are normally very not-free and just give this shit away in return for hemp jewelry, buttons, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Oh yeah, and lots of ca-razy sex.

It’s true. I had that “phase” of about six months when I started dating guys that I was bi. And so did a handful of other guys I knew. I suppose it makes sense, and I’m sure a lot of guys (including myself) actually want to believe they’re bi. But alas, they get it up the bum once, and it’s no going back. They discover that guys just have something to offer that women can’t give.

Facials, for example.

Leah is one of the lesbians I love to hate. Her type just puts so many boys to shame. The situation above has happened before, where I’ve walked up to a lesbian who I thought was a really cute guy, only to awkwardly make conversation until I could find an excuse to politely walk away and not have her, I dunno, beat me with her labia majora. Or something.