Lykke Li - the best thing to come out of Sweden since Robyn - is playing tonight at Neumo’s. If you’re too broke to pay $15 for a ticket, she’s doing a free in-store at Sonic Boom Records (Capitol Hill) at 7pm.
on YouTube: Little Bit & Breaking it Up
(hi all, i’m jesse)
In case you’re wondering, it stands for “OhMiBod” - the first iPod-powered vibrator.
Now you can literally get fucked by, say, George Michael.
Or Michael Jackson. Eww.
For a few months now, I’m been slowly, tenderly loving Patti Labelle, just waiting for an occasion to spread this love with the rest of the world. Specifically, it’s the Patti & Labelle years that I love, the serious, sexy funk years, a requisite for every person’s life for a number of reasons. Observe my favorite example, which I will explain why you too should love in a moment:
First of all, this is inches away from a drag performance, and I think we all know what I mean by “inches.” I can count on one hand the performers today who go this close to over-the-toppness of this scale. Any drag queen worth her heels should strive to this level of ridiculousness.
Second, the lyrics. Yes, she is actually saying what she appears to be: “I come like the pouring rain each time you call my name. It’s good what you’re doing–what you’re doing.” Is she having a very enthusiastic conversation with her lover? Is she being eaten like a Thankgiving turkey, interpreted through song? I’ll leave that for you to decide.
Finally, the costumes: Not only does her space-suit parka and crotch-high tin-foil boots combination give the impression that she could beam aboard the mother ship any moment and set off on her long-standing mission to defeat Flash Gordon and the defenders of the Earth–not only that, but the outfits Patti and her backup singers are wearing put pieces like this into context in a way that makes them seem perfectly understandable:
Of course Beyonce is wearing a washboard cocktail dress with shoulder pads. It’s all about context. It could make less sense.
And just for good measure, one more little treasure from Ms Labelle:
The faint gets me every time.
British band Girls Aloud are at the peak of their success right now in the UK, with a Number 1 album (Out of Control) released on the back of a Number 1 single (”The Promise”). I’ve been obsessed with the Girls for a few years now, but it’s lonely going as no one in the US seems to know who they are - and only a few of their albums are on the US iTunes store. Unfortunate, because 6 years on and 19 Top Ten UK singles under their belts, Sarah, Nicola, Cheryl, Nadine, and Kimberley should be ruling the world, if not the entire universe. Here’s 7 reasons why (note: all links are YouTube videos):
7. “Sound of the Underground”
Past history (and, indeed, logic) dictates that winners of reality television shows must release a safe, slushy, feel good single after winning the competition (see: any winner of American Idol/Pop Idol/X Factor etc.) A little background here - Girls Aloud were formed in 2002 as the result of a reality television competition called “Popstars: The Rivals.” The idea was to create a new girl band and a new boy band that would battle it out for the UK Christmas Number 1 single. Geri Halliwell was even a judge, along with Pete Waterman and Louis Walsh. “Popstars” led to the Girl’s creation, and “Sound of the Underground” was their drum-n-bass inspired debut single. For a year where the charts had been dominated by bland stadium and indie rock, a manufactured pop band releasing a (honestly, brilliant) single called “Sound of the Underground” was pretty ballsy. The song went to #1, stayed there for four weeks, and everyone promptly forgot about the boy band that “Popstars” also created (One True Voice) as they broke up after a couple singles - even though they were favored to win.
6. “Wake Me Up”
The Girls’ “fuck you” song to all the people that thought they would/were about to break up. The song structure & mixed-bag of genres hints at what is later to come - combining hard, almost heavy metal-esque guitars and squelching synth lines. The brilliance of Miranda Cooper/Xenomania’s lyrics is evident here again: “What it just the maragaritas, or were you looking at me? Also includes the dig at the boy band from “Popstars” and their former TV fame:
“The TV life is working all right/it feels so good to lose”
5. “Love Machine”
What Will the Neighbours Say? was the album that established the Girls’ identity - poppy and tuneful, but at the same time cheeky and quirky. Having decided to have their albums written and produced solely by the innovative British production house Xenomania, they quickly because Xenomania’s muses. Miranda Cooper of Xenomania is one of the best lyricists today - even when handling a daft song like this. Observe:
“We’re gift-wrapped kitty cats/Only turning into tigers when we gotta fight back
Let’s go eskimo/Out into the blue!”
4. “Biology” and the Chemistry album
After seeing that they could still be successful AND quirky, Xenomania decided to whip up something different for the Girls’ third album Chemistry - a concept album about fame and celebrity. The second single “Biology” quickly sets the tone for the rest of the album:
“The way that we walk/the way that we talk
We’re gonna cause a controversy!”
Interesting, the song structure for “Biology” is completely whacked - it sounds like Xenomania threw everything and the kitchen sink into it - starts off with a blues riff, goes to the pre-chorus, goes to the first chorus, then a second chorus (one of the choruses isn’t even repeated) and still, somehow, manages to be amazing, all “Alabama returns” and “cappucinos to go.” The video is daft, but most of their videos are.
3. The “Tangled Up” Tour Intro/Sexy! No No No
Probably because they can now afford it, they decide to open every concert SUSPENDED IN THE AIR and DESCENDING UPON US like SUPERHEROES to grace us with their presence. Take that, Beyonce. The video for “Sexy! No No No is all Christina Aguilera-style Girls-as-pincushions, with a heavily vocodered intro that could be Daft Punk.
2. “The Loving Kind”
From the new album Out of Control, an example of how much the Girls have permeated British culture. While Pet Shop Boys were recording their own new album with Xenomania, they wrote this song for the Girls. Chris Martin of Coldplay loves them so much he requested that they open one of their London tour dates next year.
1. “Call The Shots”
Despite all Xenomania’s studio wizardry and “everything plus the kitchen sink” style of production, this song proves they can write a straight-up Brilliant Pop Song. Chris Martin, Billy Corgan, George Michael, Neil Tennant - all confessed fans of this song The bridge makes it even better - I get chills when the music drops out and Nicola sings
“I’ve seen life flow by like a river/So full of twilight, dreams that glitter.”
The second single (after “Sexy! No No No”) from the Tangled Up album - an album which has NO BALLADS, only rocked-up dance-infused blisteringly good songs. One of the best albums ever.
America - get your act together. Why do we put up with shit like the Jonas Brothers when there is much better Pop Music out there?
Alphabeat are opening for Katy Perry on January 23 at the Showbox. It’s one of two concerts next month I’m going to just to see the opening act (the other concert being Adele to see James Morrison). If you haven’t already bought a ticket, you’re out of luck because it’s sold out. I will be there to see Alphabeat, and then either getting drunk and heckling Ms. Perry or just leaving.